Chintamani, a 29 year
old mechanical engineering graduate now working as a code coolie in a reputed
MNC in Bangalore, was recently pleasantly surprised when he was inundated with
the responses to his profile on shoddy.com. In the past 3 years that his
profile has been up on the website, he claims he had received only 3 responses.
However, after updating his profile (or marriage resume as Chintamani calls it)
with his newly acquired skills in linking Aadhaar number to various accounts, he
received 3333 in 33 days.
The news of his achievements spread like wildfire throughout
the techie community in Bangalore. As is usually the case, faking News was
called upon to investigate and bring the facts before public so that everyone
can benefit.
According to Chintamani , he had spent most of his waking
hours in 2017 trying to link his and his family's Aadhaar numbers to their
various accounts. Faking News is reproducing a short transcript of the 5 hours
of details that Chintamani provided about his efforts.
I have 2 bank accounts, one in public bank, for the safety
and the other in private bank ,for the service. My parents have 2 bank accounts
in different public banks. My brother ,who is an NRI, also has bank accounts
into different public banks. So I was called upon to take up the mantle for
this noble task That makes a total of 5 public bank accounts
and one private bank. The private bank asked me to update my Aadhaar number to
their website. However, there is software would not accept my request. When I
told this to the bank representative, she said send a mail to customer service.
The customer service asked me to reboot my computer and try different browser
after every reboot. Even that did not work. Then they asked me to come and file
a paper request and eventually a month after I had given the 1st
request, I was able to update my Aadhaar number in my bank account. When I went
to my public bank, they told me that they never received any directive from the
government and I should wait. Meanwhile, they started sending me an SMS asking
me to update Aadhaar details . When I went to the manager again, he said it is
computer error. Eventually, I filed an RTI . The bank manager can call me and
asked what is the need to file an RTI because the job could have been done at
the branch itself. Now that I understood how the public banks work, I repeated
the same procedure. Finally after 3 months I was able to complete the task with
all the banks.
But then Modiji thought that we should also link our Aadhaar
number with the phones. I have 2 SIM and so do my parents . While the pre-paidd
was easy to update as it could be done at most of kirana stores, I had to do a
lot of work in order to get the postpaid updated. For example, I went to Airgel
who had a retail store near my office. 1st they said that their
fingerprint machines are not working. Next day said even though they have the
fastest network, there are is very slow and therefore I not be able to meet the
process during my lunch break. Finally, they said that I should go to the main
office which was 40 minutes or 4 km away in Bangalore traffic.
No sooner had I completed this task that my health
insurance, my auto insurance and even LIC started sending me messages to link
my Aadhaar card. My father in his zeal to be a great grandfather, had open 4 LIC
policies for my brothers kids. Then he has is own LIC policy and of course my
brother and I have one each. Also have 3 auto insurance and 2 health insurance
policies with us. So that means I had to update 9 policies. However, thanks to
my experience with the telephone and banking industry, I already knew that it
would take an RTI (for public companies) and visit to the Bangalore main office
for a paper application (for private companies) to do the job. I even use the
project management tool of my company to create the various tasks and estimate
the time. My manager, Aaaram Kaur, was very happy to see my newly acquired
skills and publicised it within our group. As a result, other people also asked
me to help them link their Aadhaar card
with various accounts.
Now I think I have become a professional at this. Since
matrimonial sites are reputed for their honest profiles, I decided to update my
profile also with my new expertise.
Now I am overwhelmed with the profile and I must end this
interview so that I can go and shortlist the 'girl candidates' that I want to
marry ."
After some persuasion, Chintamani agreed to give us the
contact details of one of the 'girl candidates', Rupa, so that we can talk to
her about her perspective on Chintamani.
Rupa said that she had come across Chintamani's profile a
few years ago and was drawn towards his melancholy look. It reminded her of her
dog when it was dying. The dog in its younger days follow her around and would do
her bidding. She felt the same kind of connect with Chintamani. But despite her attraction, she
had to pass him over when she found that he was a mechanical engineer. A month ago,
she got an email from shoddy.com stating that Chintamani had updated his
profile. Out of curiosity, she went to take a look. She was extremely happy
when she saw that Chintamani had become quite an expert at linking Aadhaar. She
herself was looking for help in this area as she had to link it a total of 11
different accounts. She told faking News that since her childhood, she dreamt
of living in a big house after marriage. She felt that a big house provided by
her husband would complement her strong independent personality. However, she
also knew that the loan process was very difficult and bureaucratic. "If
someone can link so many accounts with Aadhaar, he can shortly get a loan for
my dream house.". So she instantly contacted him and was waiting for a favourable
response from him
After this event, I have become a Modi Bhakt. Modiji has
indeed made Aadhaar card an Aadhaar of our marriage.
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